Kobe Jogakuin dance majors performed their end-of-year concert, entitled "Here We Are," on the nights of February 14 through February 18th. This is the programs first year, and the concert showcases the talents of its 15 dance majors. Well, 16 - somehow I got onto the bill as well. I began learning material with them in September and followed the rigorous daily schedule of rehearsals before the show. The experience was fun and soul-shattering.
As this is a personal post, I am going to write quickly and with many mistakes. Get ready.
First on the program was a Graham technique piece, in which we demonstrated different Graham exercises. We started on the floor with contractions, long leans, turns around the back, knee work, and etc. We stood, did some plies and tendus, kicks, prances, triplets, leaps, standing contractions, majestic walking, and etc. It lasted about 25 minutes, and it felt good. It is always nice to relax into the contraction and release-activated movement of Graham. Although it is not at all "relaxing" - especially standing in very rigid ballet poses.
A problem with the Graham piece was that the dancers were not looking out. Instead, they were so focused inwards that they had a glazed look on their faces for the majority of the time. What is the importance of "looking out"? The way that I understand it can be explained by this metaphor: Think of how you feel when someone talks to you and make eye contact, as opposed to when they talk to you while staring off into space. Isn't the latter kind of weird? And when the eyes are actually looking outward, instead of inward, the person looks more aware, and thus more alive, and more sensitive to her surroundings. This is my personal explanation for why it is important to "look out." Simply - it is to avoid looking like a zombie.
The musical accompaniment was exciting; Sarah Shugarman traveled from Canada to compose and perform live music for the piece, with our drummer Kyoshi. Sarah plays violin, piano, and percussion, while singing and laughing. Currently, she teaches strings at the University of Toronto High School. She is shown at the right, with Toru Shimazaki. The second half of the concert was a collage of pieces choreographed and taught by Shimazaki.
On the whole, it felt like an entertainment medley. There was a dramatic piece, followed by an emotional piece, seguewaying into a burlesque-y jazzy piece, calmed down by a long lyrical piece, followed by a short improv game, then a clap-along energetic piece, changing to a softer-feeling chair piece, and then the grand finale of a stomping-zombie-body-yanking piece. The bow reprised the emotional piece from the beginning, wherein we hold hands, and I hug a girl for about3 counts of 8. About 30 minutes of dancing.
As I danced, I wanted to figure out what I was dancing- so much of it seemed contradictory. There was no overall story or theme to tie it all together, nothing we were trying to "say." It seemed to dash from one extreme of happiness to another extreme of concern. Yet, the audience would be riled. One of the women from the international center was crying at the end, stating that she could "feel my emotions." Can you emote strictly from catchy music and interesting movement? I suppose so. But something felt off. I would look at the people around me and see that they were wearing their "dance face." It has a blank stare that looks off somewhere into the distance, yet the face cooperates to say what it should be saying. For a dramatic piece, the eyebrows form a upside-down V. In a gesture to console another, the head tilts sympathetically. Yet the face looks like some kind of deer judging if there is food in the bushes.
There is one part of the emotional piece where another girl and I stand face to face, from opposite sides of the room, and slowly walk to each other to meet in the center. As we walked, her eyes seemed to be looking straight into my eyes, with an expression of concern on her face. But, at the same time, she was not looking into my eyes. It was like looking at a mannequin. Complete vacancy.
Yet, these girls have been practicing so hard, and one can tell the large amount of work and intention put into every single movement they perform. Their bodies and faces were so committed, but it was a commitment to performing a task. It was a commitment to these counts and this line and the corrections sensei gave us. It felt like there was no art in it. Nothing was being said, other than "'Here We Are,' look at us."
I obviously struggled with this, as I do not aspire too much for technique, yet desparately want to say something. However, the audience was touched. The piece pulled the audience's emotions for a ride, exciting them and provoking them. During the calm, lyrical piece, all of the dancers sit, facing the audience, as the dancers take turns leaving their seat, joining the dance, and then returning to their seat. I was sitting for quite some time, facing the audience. Usually, their faces were completely relaxed. Some heads were tilted, and the eyes moved from between the dancers as they came out. Sometimes a smile would break out, or one audience member would make a comment to another, but that was rare. Usually it was just a zoned-out and relaxed face, unaware that I was watching.
I have yet to understand it all. At the end, almost all of the performers were crying. They were happy tears of a job completed. I'm still not sure of all of this. Partly, it feels like a beauty contest where the winners cry at the end. On the other hand, I respect everyone very much and know that there is a depth beyond the superficial.
What was i saying onstage? The first night, before I knew that the dancing would effect the audience, I felt like I was in a marathon of being energetic, on time, and thinking thin thoughts. After the show, Shimazaki said, "See, Caitlin? It is not about the technique. If you go out there, and be a person, you will touch people." I don't understand what we were doing. But, I had fun, and the audience enoyed it, and it made 15 dance majors burst into tears of joy.
It ended last night, and my thoughts will hopefully develop with time. But for now, IT'S OVER!
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